life

The past few days have been extremely hard.
It's difficult to see anything good and I'm very vulnerable and very very suicidal again. I keep worrying i'll do something stupid again. 
I can't believe I ever overdosed.. is that a suicide attempt? Is that what it's called? That kind of kills me haha.
I don't think of myself as weak, honestly, I'd think it strength. I haven't self harmed since July  4th, yeah I'm getting quite bad with food again but I haven't self harmed and I hope I can last a year, I'm tearing up just realising how long it's been. Nobody really gets how far I've come. I may be assigned a nurse in CAMHS to keep an eye on my weight or something, it's silly but I'm humoring them.
Staying at Hannah's tonight with Jemma and it'll be fun. Plus I'm going to the movies and to get pizza with Niamh and Heather (her momma) tomorrow night. That's something worth looking forward too
Hopefully this little blip will pass soon. I'm pretty tired, tired of feeling numb, feeling anxious and stuff is horrible but it's better than feeling nothing at all